Dirty Thoughts
by FreeRen
Summary: What happens when Emma gets fed up with Hook's shameless flirting and takes matters into her own hands?
1. Chapter 1

_Burn out the day  
Burn out the night  
I can't see no reason to put up a fight  
I'm living for giving the devil his due_

_And I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you_...  
-

Emma Swan snapped.

Maybe it was the winking. Maybe it was the Lady Swan comments. Maybe it was the fact that it seemed that his shirts were buttoned less and less with each day that passed. Maybe it was that she kept looking around for him as days passed in Storybrooke and he simply wasn't there.

Ultimately, she didn't care what it was that pushed her over the edge, but she had had enough.

"Sit." Emma growled, roughly dragging Killian inside the Sherrif's station and then pushing him into a chair near the jail cells.

"Now, love. I know that it's been a rough couple of days, but if you want to touch me all you have to do is ask." Killian told her with his usual smirk as Emma stomped to the front door of the station and locked it with a resounding click. She stopped at her desk drawer, on her way back to him, pulling out Killian's black scarf and a pair of handcuffs.

Killian's eyes widened at the items in her hands as she drew closer. "Wait a tic, now, lass. I've been on my best behavior since we have arrived back from Neverland. As I know, you are rather fond of tying me up..."

"Shut up." Emma said she quickly grabbed his right wrist and wrapped his black scarf around it a few times before quickly and securely snapping the hand cuff around it. She then took the other cuff and snapped it around one of the jail cell bars, stretching his lean, muscular arm behind his body.

She could hear her pulse pounding in her ears as she took a second, stepping back to survey her handiwork. For good measure, she took his other arm and slid the hook into one of the links on the hand cuffs. Not a permanent thing, but she made her point.

"There." Emma whispered, finally making direct eye contact with Killian as she stepped closer and swung one leg over his body and straddled his lap. His jaw was tightly locked, eyes dilated with only the faintest hint of bright blue showing. He wisely kept his mouth shut and looked to her. "I've been waiting, oh so patiently for you."

"Aye now?" He murmured stone still, trying not to move, trying not to have his body betray his wildly rampaging thoughts. He didn't want to scare Emma off by jumping the gun too soon, he didn't want to give in to the blossoming bits of hope in his heart.

"Yes." Emma ground out in frustration, her body moving even closer to his, her lips sliding down his neck. "You promised me something." She gently bit down, sucking for a brief moment before continuing. "I've been going out of my mind for you, Killian. Waiting." Her tongue swirled gently around the bite as she continued to move her lips down his open collar. "You promised when we returned to Storybrooke that the fun would begin." She leaned back briefly, her determined eyes searching his heavy-lidded ones.

"Aye." Killian breathed. "And I'd have to say, this is quite fun."

Emma rolled her eyes before she crushed her mouth to his. She furiously slid her tongue against his, tasting and teasing, pushing and finally taking what she had wanted for so damn long before breaking the kiss and considering him again. "But, I had to take charge." She told him breathlessly as Killian groaned from the loss. She couldn't help but trail her lips back down to his neck at his moan.

"I've had so many damn dirty thoughts this week, waiting for you." She whispered against his neck. "And I just couldn't take it anymore. Waiting for you to make the first move." Emma slowly dragged her mouth up and over to his ear, gently nipping the lobe with her teeth.

"Well, far be it that I'm protesting here, love. But are you certain that Deputy Charming won't be stopping by? I'm rather partial to my bits where they are." Killian rasped as Emma eagerly ran her hands over his chest, feverishly working the buttons of his clothing off.

"The extra fun is the chance of being caught." Emma grinned as she slipped her hands inside Killian's shirt and tweeked a nipple, laughing slightly as Killian bit back his moan. "Now, you promised fun. I'm taking you up on your offer."

With that she tantalizingly rotated her hips on his lap, grinding herself against his impressive erection and enjoyed the flickerings of open want and need that blazed across his features and how he knee-jerkingly pulled on his arms against his cuffs in an attempt to pull her closer.

Honestly, looking back on the moment, Emma had no idea where she was able to pull the either sex kitten act from. Months of flirting and teasing by the devastatingly handsome pirate had finally pushed her to the limit.

She continued to grind herself shamelessly against him, hands roaming all over his finely sculpted chest as she was very content to let herself go, indulge in something that had tempted her from the beginning. "Besides, were you buttoning less buttons on your shirts on fucking purpose? God damn it, I almost had to arrest myself for the temptation of ripping your clothes off in public."

Chuckling, Killian slipped his hook arm free to move it under her ass and shift her closer, guide his lips over hers, claiming her, his tongue expertly sliding against hers. "Aye." He whispered, taking advantage of his brief distraction to bring his lips down to the pulse point at her neck and nip it carefully with his teeth. "Always knew that my Swan was a bright lass." He told her between bites as Emma couldn't help but moan and arch her head back to grant him better access.

While Emma enjoyed Killian's very skilled lips working at her neck and down her shirt, she knew she didn't want him to turn the tides on her. This was her seduction, her fun, damn it! She ran her hands into his dark hair and reclaimed his lips in a greedy, passionate kiss for a moment before unwinding her legs from his side and carefully moved off his lap.

Killian moaned at the brief loss of contact before his eyes locked in hers as she evilly grinned and started undoing the laces of his black leather pants. His eyes burned with intensity as he watched her careful fingers maneuver the laces and gently brush against him with a slow, maddening strokes.

"Ah, love..." He moaned as she worked her hands against him through his pants. "Untie me, so I can properly..." His hook arm cast about, attempting to pull her back up to him. "It's just bad form... Selfish of me..."

"No." Emma replied, her face lighting up in a smile. "This is my fun, my payback for you avoiding me, and for that comment about fucking Tinkerbell."

Killian returned her grin, the roguish smirk she adored gracing his handsome face. "Ah, but my Swan knew that wasn't true."

"I still think some punishment is in order." Emma breathed as she slid her fingers around his warm, thick length and lifted him free of his pants. She slid her fingers around his shaft up and down with agonizing deliberation, completely enjoying the look of pleasure on Killian's face. His breath started to come in small pants.

"You have no idea how long..." He murmured, as she continued to slide her hand up and down, watching his face the entire time.

"I think I do." Emma replied. "Probably as long as I wanted to do this." She leaned forward and wrapped her lips around the tip, completely enjoying the long guttural moan that escaped from Killian. She couldn't even believe that she was really here, really doing this. All those nights in Neverland, so close, but then again so damn far thanks to that little bastard Pan. The one thing that would get her mind off of Henry, or her father, or Pan was the fantasy of rolling over and having her way with the man who was standing watch next to her. She couldn't even consider how impossibly aching and wet she was, or lest she lose her focus at her task, which was quite literally at hand.

Watching Killian come completely undone above her while she teased the hell out of him was currently her number one item listed under the "Quite Official Emma Swan List of Fun."

"But, come back up here love. You don't have to..." He called out, trying again to sway Emma from her task.

A quick swirl of her tongue around his tip, carefully collecting the drip of pre-cum, changed Killian's pleas. His hook went from half-heartededly tugging at her shirt to resting on her shoulder. Emma inwardly smiled and continued to swirl her tongue around his magnificently hard cock as she gripped his thighs with her hands. Maybe different things were expected in ye ol' Enchanted Forest, but she was enjoying herself _damn it._

Emma kept her pace slow and tortuously steady, never quite sending Killian over the edge the few times he attempted to speed up her movements. After a few more tense minutes of Emma continuing to move her lips and tongue around and around, her free hand firmly grabbing his base and stroking to add to his pleasure.

"Ah lass, love, dear Emma... You can't torture a man like this." Killian grunted out suddenly, his arm still trying to pull her up towards him again.

Emma leaned slightly back on her heels and made eye contact with him. She winked and slowly licked him from base to tip and smirked when Killian's eyes fluttered closed. "Stop complaining Hook." She told him softly as she closed her mouth around him yet again and finally sped up her movements.

He had to no chance at recovering, because if Emma Swan set her mind to it, it was going to get done and Emma had set her mind to blowing Killian until his brains practically leaked out his ears. At the rate she slipped up and down his shaft, it wasn't going to take very long.

In fact, mere moments later, Killian's body tensed and with an unbelievably sexy groan as he reached his climax. Emma couldn't help but grin as she slipped off him, gently rearranged him and stood up. She completely, thoroughly, 100% adored the look of a post-orgasm Killian Jones, slumped in the chair, his head tilted back in bliss. It was worth ignoring the aching throb that had settled in between her thighs, aching for his return touch.

"Bless you, Swan." He quietly rasped out, still unmoving as Emma bit back a laugh at her handiwork. There was nothing better than utterly devastating someone with your mouth, she mused. Emma leaned over him to unlock his good arm from the handcuff. He happily looped both his arms around her as she settled back down in his lap.

Emma smiled as she wove her fingers in his thick hair. "Now, _Hook_." She told him pointedly. "I'll be waiting for my fun to begin."

"Oh lass." Killian breathed as he gently covered his lips against hers. "Turnabout is fair play."

Emma opened her mouth to reply, when suddenly the rattling of the front door, rang out through the station. Quickly, they both sprang apart, straightening clothing, smoothing down hair, and tightening a pair of leather pants in an attempt to look slightly more presentable and not the pair of horny teenagers they truly resembled.

"Emma?" David called out moments later as he strolled into the station, holding a lunch bag from Granny's. "Why was the front door locked?"

"Oh, hi David. I was just teaching Hook a few things about our modern day world." Emma breezily replied and pulled Killian towards the exit with her. "In fact, our next stop is driving lessons in the bug. See ya later!"

David watched the pair zip out the door, a confused look on his face. He then turned and spied the chair placed next to the jail cell, with one end of the handcuffs still dangling from the bars. He rolled his eyes heaven-ward, counted to fifty, then called Mary-Margaret on his cell phone.

"You owe me twenty bucks. It's Hook."


	2. Shopping Surrender

Author's Note: Thank you for all the lovely feedback and reblogs of part one! I was going to have Part Two go in a different direction, but then this picture of Colin surfaced on Tumblr and "clothes store shopping" became Dirty Thoughts part two

Also, my clothing store "Squirrel's Petticoats n' More" is my shout-out to the fanfic author who has a line with Snow musing "no one can make a petticoat like squirrels." INSPIRED. I love it. If you know the fic/author please message me, so I can properly give them credit.

If you think of a particular "Dirty Thoughts" scenario that you would like to me write, send me a message!

Emma's thoughts raced one afternoon as she quietly ate lunch at the counter of Granny's Diner. The place was almost deserted, with only Red reading a magazine behind the counter and one of the dwarves eating lunch in a booth behind her. Leave it to Killian Jones to take her hormonal madness and simply multiply it by a factor of ten. Ever since their "Sheriff's Station Encounter," he had been lurking around Storybrooke with apparent sole purpose of driving her insane with lust.

For example, the man was down right handsy. As a former thief and bounty hunter, current Sheriff and Savior, Emma didn't startle easily, usually saw people coming a mile away, but Killian lived up to his pirate ways to routinely surprise the hell out of her. He was able to simply appear out of nowhere to grab her ass, slide his body against her temptingly, whisper sweet nothings into her ear, and what was becoming a more common occurrence, snagging his hook around one of her belt loops to drag her into excluded dark corners to kiss the hell out of her before releasing back out into the world, disorientated, wet and aching for him.

The last time, it was a small alcove near her apartment that he somehow was able to conceal himself in as she walked home from the station on a beautiful afternoon. One moment she was thinking about how calm Storybrooke was lately, and the next Emma found herself suddenly flush against the sexy pirate, his blue eyes sparkling in the thrill of the game that he was playing. "Caught ya again my dearest Swan." He throatily whispered before crushing his lips to hers.

"Godamn it." She moaned at being caught yet again, before being swept away by the thrust of his tongue gliding against hers.

Quite simply - Killian's "fun" was making her into a crazy woman. A horny, crazy woman to be exact.

"Ah, there she is! My most exceptional Lady Swan!"

Emma spared him a sideways smirk as Killian strode into Granny's, sporting his usual grin, arms opened wide and his eyes sparkling only on her. Red snorted in amusement at Emma's discomfort from her perch as he plopped down on the open stool next to Emma.

"...and how is my fair and lovely Swan today?" He inquired as he leaned over her body to grab a menu, his hook skimming across the underside of her breast as he did so.

Emma gaped at him and the brazen bastard just winked her in return as he stole some french fries off her plate. "Just another day in Storybrooke." She replied with a shrug.

"Then I propose that we should spend the rest of it together."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. "Yeah?"

"Whatever my lady desires." He replied, amusement written all over his face as he continued to steal the French fries off her plate.

Suddenly, Emma had an idea. "Okay. But remember this, you asked for it."

Twenty minutes later, Emma happily pulled up the bug in front of Squirrels Petticoats n' More, the only clothing store in Storybrooke. She actually couldn't keep the smile off her face as she turned to Killian in the passenger seat. "I'm going to update that pirate outfit of yours."

The horrified look on Killian's face was so priceless that Emma wished she had a camera to take a picture of it. "Lass, this is clearly a timeless outfit." He shook his head at her as he locked his good hand around the door to hold on in protest.

"Do you trust me?"

"Aye."

"Then trust me, Killian. This is going to be fun." She put the special emphasis on fun, hoping that her handsome pirate would get the message.

As the slow smirk appeared across his lips, Killian quickly hopped from the bug, Emma knew that this was going to be a brilliant plan.

The chimes merrily dinged as Emma and Killian stepped into the store. It was dead quiet; apparently the citizens of Storybrooke had apparently perfected their never changing outfits a long time ago. A sole teenage cashier sat playing on her phone. Killian looked at Emma expectantly as she started to weave in and out of the men's clothing racks. "Give me ten minutes and then you can go and try some of these items on."

Emma meandered through the various racks of men's clothing, looking for a few essentials (dark jeans, t-shirts, a sweater or two) before she stumbled across the leather jacket that she had a feeling was made for her pirate. She didn't find anything wrong with Killian's pirate clothes, far from it in fact, but the truth of the matter still remained that his half buttoned shirts were going to be the death of her.

Killian's eyes widened slightly as he saw Emma made her way back over to him, arms full of clothes. "Lass, it's not necessary, really. My leathers do me just fine."

"Hook. Do you notice that some of townsfolk hide when they see you?"

Killian grinned. "That's 300 years of proper work, right there, love. And truthfully, they can all sod off, as long as the people I care about don't hide." He paused, his eyes lighting up as they met Emma's. "Unless my fairest Swan, naughty hide-n-seek falls on your list of fun."

Slapping Killian's arm and rolling her eyes, Emma pushed Killian towards the dressing rooms. "You gotta try all this stuff on before we buy it. It has to fit right."

Emma hustled Killian into a dressing room and arranged the clothes. "I'll be right outside." She told him, eagerly anticipating seeing him in a pair of jeans. She listened to the sounds of him taking off his clothes from the other side of the door and resisted the urge to just barge in and rip her own clothes off and have her way with him...

"Right buggering bastard! How in the seven hells are you supposed to wear these infernal things Swan?"

Not really thinking this action through, Emma pushed open the dressing room door and found Killian wearing only a pair of dark jeans, pulled up to his hips. The jeans hugged him in all the right places, slung over his hips in the most tantalizing way, with a hint of his hipbones curving around the jeans. The trail of his dark hair disappeared behind the line of the jeans and the sight of him, made Emma's mouth go dry as she could only stop short and stare. Emma silently thanked god above for the sexiest vision she had ever seen, standing in front of her, as her eyes raked over Killian's body.

At first, Killian was so busy struggling with the zipper with his one good hand and his hook that he didn't fully notice her reaction. "Damn it." He growled as he looked up and met Emma's eyes. A slow, lust-filled moment passed as Killian put it all together and then grinned, a dark smile full of heat and promises. "Well, love. Care to help this sad pirate?" He murmured as he took a step closer to Emma, invading her space with his half-naked body.

You can do this Emma. Emma told herself as she took a shaky breath and stepped even closer, her hands reaching out towards the zipper in his pants. "Careful." She whispered as she brushed the jeans carefully, her fingers easily feeling his cock harden beneath her fingertips... "I don't want to injure anything."

"Ah. Never thought you'd be putting my clothes on, Swan." He whispered, leaning even closer, his mouth nibbling the outline of her ear. His tongue suddenly darted out to lick the lobe of her ear as he continued. "I'm presuming that you like what you see?"

"Fuck." She whispered, her fingers tracing over his growing erection.

Killian growled and moved so quickly, that Emma could hardly process it. He slipped his hook arm around her and spun them, so he could pin Emma fully against the dressing room wall with his body. Emma's breath whooshed out of her lungs as he covered her body with his. His jeans were now only held up by the weight of his body tight against hers as he slanted his mouth down and smoothly kissed the remaining breath from her. Killian insistently pressed his hard length against her, his hips grinding against her. It was all Emma could do to hold on, her thoughts only focused on wanting him, needing him, as Killian trailed his mouth down over her collarbone and slipped his good hand under her shirt gently palming her breast. His fingertips grazed over her nipple, making her weak-kneed from anticipation.

Emma bit back a moan that threatened to escape her lips.

"Shhh." Killian whispered, his blue eyes dilated with lust. "It would be bad form for the Sheriff of Storybrooke to get caught in a dalliance in a clothes closet with the resident dashingly handsome pirate." He winked as he slowly slid his hand from her breast to the waistband of her jeans, expertly popping open the jeans and undoing the zipper.

"You asshole." Emma gasped, realizing that he was perfectly capable of buttoning his pants and it had all been a ruse, while he hooked her jeans and slid them down to pool around her feet.

"Pirate." He replied with a grin as he dropped to his knees in front of her. "And like I told you, my lovely Swan, that turnabout is fair play." He gazed at her almost naked form and smiled. "Beautiful." He whispered as he pulled her black panties down to her ankles, easing them off of her.

Emma couldn't believe that she was half-naked in a public dressing room, with her handsome pirate on his knees before her, his face looking up at her in adoration. It was almost too much, but before she could feel trapped or self-conscious, Killian had gently skimmed his fingers against her opening, dragging her wetness around her clit as he lazily circled it.

All coherent thoughts flew out of her brain as she could only feel his fingers slip sliding against her, his stubble rough on her thighs. It had been so long, plus all his teasing and kisses leaving her wet and aching, that frankly it was only a matter of time. A matter of time that was barreling towards her as Killian's talented fingers circled her clit over and over.

She wove her fingers through his dark, thick hair and couldn't help letting out a small, quiet moan at his ministrations. She felt Killian chuckle softly against her, enjoying her vocal desire for him. His questing fingers went from slow agonizing circles to slipping inside her with ease as he lowered his mouth to her, tasting her. "Emma." He moaned as he pumped one finger, then two inside her and worked his tongue around and around.

Emma's breaths came in small pants as she could feel the tension build in her belly and start to spiral out of control, due to Killian's clever mouth and fingers. She prayed that nobody was nearby as she whimpered.

"Let go, love. I've got you." Came Killian's quiet command, feeling her about to tumble over the edge.

And with that, Emma shattered, her orgasm slamming into her as she fluttered helplessly, arching against his hand.

She was dimly aware that his fingers and tongue had slowed, gently easing her down from what ranked in her top three orgasms ever.

"Jesus." She whispered, her shaking legs propping her against the wall.

Killian slowly rose from his position, carefully licking her juices for his hand before kissing her gently. "Beautiful Swan." He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. "You're right, this is most definitely fun. I can hardly wait for our next fun adventure."

Emma chuckled and started pulling her clothes back on. "You better finish dressing before they think we're backing here stealing clothes."

Killian's good hand went down to his jeans, easily buttoning and zipping himself up, meeting Emma's eyes with a grin. "As you wish, m'lady."

Emma made a face at him. Cheeky pirate. "I'll go and pay for the clothes." Emma told him as he carefully pulled on a t-shirt and sweater around his hook. "I'm sure that you can figure out a way to pay me back for them later." She grinned as she heard him chuckle in delight.

She quietly eased from the dressing room and made her way back through the store, clothing tags in hand. Emma hoped that she didn't look completely post-top-three (oh hell, who was she kidding? Post-number-one-with-a-bullet) orgasm as she made her way to the front counter to pay.

The young cashier eyed her closely. "Find everything you need?" She asked Emma.

Emma bit back a grin. "I'd say so." She replied smugly, handing over her credit card.

The transaction was almost complete when Emma noticed the young girl's slack jaw as she stared behind her. "Wow." She whispered.

Emma turned to see Killian dressed in modern day clothes, complete with the leather jacket, walking towards her. "Wow, indeed." She murmured, as Killian smugly smirked at the ladies as if reading their thoughts. He happily slung the plastic bags around his hook and strode out of the store, humming a tune.

"You are one lucky lady." The cashier told Emma.

Emma gazed out the window, watching Killian slide into the bug. "I know."


End file.
